Working

Wow it has been a long time since I sat down to blog.  I just do not seem to have the time now that I work 5 days a week.  After the majority of my 25 years of marriage being a stay at home mom, this has been a HUGE change.  Thankfully I do have every other Friday off to play catch up on my house, bills, shopping, etc.  And so here I sit playing catch on for my blog.

My mom will be coming in on Monday for a 2 week visit.  She wants to get away and enjoy some quiet time.  For the most part my house is pretty much silent during the day since no one is home!  I am hoping she will come with me a couple of days so we hang out.

We are struggling with where to attend church.  I so much need to "belong" somewhere!  It has been years since we were really involved in a church community.  We have been to a couple of different churches over the last a most year and still do not feel the right fit.  Tomorrow we are going to a different one and praying our puzzle piece is a match.  It is just so hard living so far away from a church and trying to be involved.  I know why they used to have churches in every community.

After the last year dealing with the stress of not knowing if Bob would have a job, we would have a place to live, and watching our son go through some rough times, I am realizing I need to start taking care of me.  I need to get plugged into a woman's group at a church and start processing the last year.

We are still praying about how God can use us.  We felt lead to Bethany for the refugee program and went through the training and then were put on hold due to Kory's crisis.  Not sure if that is the path we are suppose to take or not.  Looking for a sign from above.  Bob has felt lead to mentor one of the guys at work who is going through the program.  I met him yesterday and he shared that Bob has been a major blessing in his life.  I am so glad that God is using Bob to bless this young guy.

Well since I started out saying how much I needed to accomplish today I probably should get to it!

Happiness

We back from a 10 day trip to Florida and I am soooooo exhausted.  I didn't even get off the plane when I had voice messages of appointments for the that very day.  We hit the road and I never stopped until late Monday night.  Then I worked on Tuesday and today is my first time to just sit and catch my breath.

We flew into Punta Gorda and my dad picked up us.  We stayed there for one night and then drove to Orlando for 7 days.  Our passes allowed us to go to Universal, Islands of Adventure, Sea World and Aquatica.  It was VERY hot the whole time and we went none stop. 

This photo is at CityWalk's Margaritaville.  After spending the day at Universal we went back and got refreshed and came back to go out and have a few drinks and dinner.  Then we spent some time listening to live music and watching the break dancers.  Kory was in heaven watching the DJ spin the music.  It would be his dream to do that as long he would not have to speak.

We had a good time and enjoyed the rides and shows.  The highlight of the whole time was when my parents came up and we went to Sea World.  Kim did an interactive program with the Beluga Whales and had a great time.  We all were able to watch her and it was so cool.  I watched her light up for the first time in so long.  I pray that this gave her the desire to pursue marine biology.

Speaking of lighting up.....I guess that was what Bob and I felt was missing from this vacation.  When the kids were younger they seemed to enjoy everything so much more.  Kinda like Christmas when they are young and the magic of Santa is still there.  It was different to only have 2 of the kids too.  Still adjusting to the whole married daughter :)
All you ever want for your kids is to be happy.  We talk with them when they are babies and get them to smile, we play with them when they are toddlers and get a giggle, we spend time with them as they grow and make memories.  It all seems to have changed now and I don't feel like I can "make" my children happy anymore.  I know each of us is responsible for our own happiness and I have to trust that one day each one of my children will be able to choose to enjoy their life and make the most of it.

Vacation

The countdown is on....we leave in 3 days for a family vacation to Florida.  It will be the first time that we have ever flown anywhere all together.  It will be Kory's very first time to fly.  Kristin and David will be staying here at the house and taking care of the dogs and chickens. 

I am so looking forward to no cooking or cleaning or anything but fun!  We have 7 day passes for Universal Studios, Islands of Adventure, Sea World, and Aquatica (a new water park with Sea World).  The hotel is like a small condo with 2 bedrooms and a full kitchen so there will be plenty of room. 

My parents will be coming up one day to go to Sea World with us. Kim is going to swim with the Beluga Whales while at Sea World.  Hopefully it will help her decide if she indeed wants to study marine biology. 

All that said I am nervous about a "vacation" because it seems that we always end up having some sort of melt down while we are suppose to be enjoying ourselves.  Maybe things will be different this time around since we have learned alot about how aspergers have effected our family.  Bob and Kory both struggle with change and mostly when it is out of their control.  Being on vacation leads to doing things on the fly and not having a regular schedule thus creating anxiety.  So the plan is going to be to sit down and have a daily meeting to come up a plan so everyone can be more relaxed. 

We now have a case manager through the county and are working on goals.  One of those goals is for Kory to successfully graduate from college.  We have a family support coordinator that is meeting with Kory and us to work on different challenges.  The coordinator will be going to the college with Kory to meet with his advocate and come up a list of things that will enable him to be successful.  She has been so beneficial already just by sharing with all of us about sensory issues.  It has made us all aware of problems each one of deal with. 

And you want to know what a small world we live in?  Kory's counselor knows this family supports coordinator.  They went to school together and are on the same page with therapies.  When I found this out I knew God had sent us in the right direction to obtain services through both the counselor and the county.  I am looking forward to goals reached and this new knowledge to be used for positive changes.

Friendship

I just had a great week in Florida getting to spend some quality time with my parents and brother. 
We went to Siesta Key Beach and got to enjoy the 85 degree gulf and the HOT sun and sand. 

I also got to visit with a girl friend that I have only seen a few times in the last 14 1/2 years.  I find it so interesting how you can still connect with friends after all that time.  We used to be very close and attended the same church when we lived in Florida.  Our children were about the same age.  I ended up working for her as a dental assistant.  We were besties.  It was so good to be able to sit and catch up with each other's lives. 

One week prior to going to Florida I also got to spend a few days with another bestie from Tennessee.  We have been gone from there for 10 years and we can pick things right back up like no time has ever passed.  So many things have happened in both our lives during those 10 years.  We each have grown from our experiences, yet we seem to be the same when we are together. 

It has been several years and several moves since I have had a bestie.  There are times when I feel so isolated.  I had always made my connections with people through my children when we homeschooled and belonged to a homeschool group, or we met people through church.  Our church is 40 minutes away now and I do not feel like putting forth the effort to get involved.

I pondered the whole friendship thing on my trip home and realized that I am at a different place in my life now as are my children.  Kristin and I have a new relationship and today she is my bestie.  It is hard to think that 10 years ago we were at odds since I was the "mom".

It is the ever "Long and Winding Road"!

Concert

Yesterday I went with Kristin, Kim and her friend to the country's biggest country music festival right here in Martin, MI. I do not listen to country on a regular basis, but I do like some of the artists and songs. We got up at the crack of dawn so we could be there when the parking lot opened so that we then could stand in line for an hour before the gates opened.

Once inside everyone scrambled for a place to plant their chairs. Then we waited another 1 1/2 hours for the concert to begin. The sun was pretty intense all day even though they had called for rain in the afternoon. We all were very thankful for sunscreen that when applied every 2 hours like the new postings are telling you really do work!!

It was a great day to just relax with the girls. The entertainment all around us was quite interesting as well. It was announced in the evening "that today more beer was consumed than both days put together last year." Needless to say there were some pretty wasted people.

We left just before the concert ended and then sat in a MAJOR traffic jam for almost 2 hours without moving. It was getting really frustrating since we were hungry, hot, dirty, and tired. Finally as traffic began to move I convinced a car in front of us to turn around and go another way and then I was freed up to move and we escaped the gridlock.

Small world

Today I decided that since I was home I would be able to attend counseling with Kory.  Before we went I had some errands to run, so we headed out early.  As usual I did most of the talking while we were driving.  I talked about his college plans and how to use the college resources to the fullest.  I shared about how volunteering or getting an internship would be so helpful once you graduate since everyone wants you to have experience along with a degree.  I mentioned talking with the college to see if he could help in the theater department.  I would occasionally ask a question and get an "I don't know". 

So I go in with him to talk with the counselor and tell her all about how Kory now has a "Supports Coordinator" through his case manager with our county.  I explained the process we had gone through the week before when having our first meeting with her.  Part of the process what to come up with a list of things you are good at (being the green things) and a list of things that challenge you (being the pink things).  The counselor mentioned that she knows of this type of goal planning because her friend has written a book about this.  Later in the conversation I told her the Supports Coordinator's name and she said that was her friend that wrote the book!  We all laughed at what a small world we live in. 

I had shared with the Supports Coordinator that I knew God had to be part of putting this together because it was the first time I felt so positive about the direction things were moving.  She shared with us that she works with churches and is a Christian and wanted to know if she was free to share that.  I just about jumped up and down!!  Yes this is the piece that has been missing...God!

How cool is it that everyone is going to be on the same page with assisting Kory to gain his goals of finishing college and becoming more independent.  All I can say is, thank you God.

Being out all day in the 60 degree rainy weather made me feel so sad for the poor kids who are at camp this week.  It seems like every single year we would have gorgeous weather prior to the first week of camp, but then it would take a nose dive and the poor kids would freeze to death.   I pray it warms up so they can enjoy their time.
Here is a photo from last year of Kim and Tori hanging out before the talent show.

Kory is going to volunteer to run the sound during the talent show each week out at Camp O'Malley where Kim is working.  He also was feeling very left out of not being part of camp for the summer.  Prayerfully that will work out and he will enjoy it.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away

This week our weather went from being 95 degrees for 2 days in a row to 60 degrees and storming.  It feels like my life!  Change...........something that seems to be one consistent thing in my life. Just when one thing seems to fall into place another one drops out of the sky. 

My week started out so great with beautiful summer weather and the news we have been waiting for about our status for where we will be living.  It looks like we will be able to stay in the house for at least the next year which is a huge answer to prayer. I had really been struggling with the idea of  having to move out of the state for another job and leaving Kristin and David behind, but our answer at the beginning of the week seemed to solve that problem.   

Just as the weather changed unexpectedly, so did the answer to my prayer.  Kristin told me today that David is not really secure in his job here and would like to find another one.  He found several different things of interest and they are in Illinois and Wisconsin.  So depending on whose prayers God is listening to, we may not be living near them after all. 

I guess I need to go back and reread my "Letting Go" post.  again and again. 

Kim came home for her 3 day staff training talking nonstop about how much fun she had.  She is really excited to be working at O'Malley again and is looking forward to campers coming next week.  Kory is going to volunteer on Thursday nights to set up the sound equipment and run it for them.  He too was feeling very left out of the whole camp scene.

Tonight Kory and Bob are at our church attending a special program they are doing on a weekly basis.  It is a recovery program and for anyone dealing with loss, grief, addiction, stress, abuse, etc.  I am praying it will be a place for Kory to connect with others and learn that he does not struggle alone with issues. 

I am home ALONE and it sure is quiet!  No television playing or music thumping in the background.  All I can hear is Anna going from window to window whining about the chickens.  You would think after all this time she would get over it and just leave them alone.

Well I am off to walk on the treadmill.....my new summer tradition!